


I've Waited Long Enough Now

by PatsyDecline



Category: Dead To Me (TV)
Genre: Cheating, DTMSecretSanta, F/F, Semi-Public Sex, jealous!jen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-23
Updated: 2020-12-23
Packaged: 2021-03-10 19:28:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,143
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28272387
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PatsyDecline/pseuds/PatsyDecline
Summary: Judy really just thought this was going to be a nice evening...
Relationships: Judy Hale/Jen Harding, Michelle Gutierrez/Judy Hale
Comments: 10
Kudos: 61





	I've Waited Long Enough Now

**Author's Note:**

  * For [zoezugg](https://archiveofourown.org/users/zoezugg/gifts).



> This is part of the DTM Secret Santa! 
> 
> A gift from Me to @zoezugg  
> And thanks to Amanda for putting all the hard work into arranging. 
> 
> Happy Holidays! 
> 
> (this hasn't been properly betaed so it's probably riddled with errors and for that, I shall not apologise.)  
> (Oh also I did literally no research into what's involved in physio so don't @me about recovery stuff inaccuracies.)

There’s been a weird energy between them all evening. Judy thought it would be nice to reserve a table for dinner somewhere fancy, to celebrate Jen’s last appointment with the physiotherapist. She had just been pronounced fully recovered at last (with the provision of ongoing exercises which Judy already knew Jen would need nagging daily reminders about). They’d been through months of it, appointments every few days to get her to this point and it felt like a cause for celebration. 

Jen broke her hip in the crash. Pretty badly. It had been frustrating for her to have such limited movement. For the first few weeks, Jen had needed Judy there all the time to help her with basically everything; she moved into Jen’s room. They spent even more time together than ever and Jen relied on her. She wasn’t always the easiest of patients but they became a little team. It felt strange when Jen got more of her mobility back and needed Judy less and less. But by then they had a routine so she never moved out of Jen’s room. 

Originally Judy wanted to plan a party to celebrate. Until she tried to write a guestlist: Jen, Judy, Michelle… Chris was out of state on a Choristers of Christ exchange program. Lorna was obviously a no. Karen still hadn’t forgiven Jen yet for slashing her tire a few weeks previously. And… there sort of wasn’t anyone else? So, it was just the three of them. Three of them and this strange energy. 

Things had, admittedly, been a bit off between her and Michelle in recent weeks. It was hard for Michelle to see Judy and Jen so close after the accident, and so much of her time these days was taken up with looking after Jen and the boys. They’d discussed it a few times and Judy’s reassurances that nothing was going on between them didn’t seem particularly reassuring anymore. So they needed this time together and it would be lovely to celebrate together. It was one of Michelle’s rare nights off from the restaurant. Jen was signed off as healthy. Judy really thought it was going to be a wonderful evening for them all.

\---

“Do you think she’s okay ‘cause she seemed kinda pissed?” Michelle says nervously, fiddling with her paper straw that’s starting to buckle under the attention. 

“She has been gone a while. Dessert should be here any second. I might go check on her.”

Judy gets up, weaves her way through the tables of other diners into the little patio behind the restaurant that houses a series of box hedges with atmospheric uplighting, garnished with the occasional smoker. She finds Jen, leaning in a nook with the burnt out cigarette butt in her hand. 

“Jen! Hey! Dessert is just on the way and you’ve been a while. You doing okay?”

“Sure.” Jen nods a couple of times mostly at the ground before seeming to change her mind. “Actually, you know what? No.”

Jen throws her cigarette butt in the ashtray with a force that suggests a sense of resolve. The change in Jen’s tone makes her flinch automatically. 

“What? Jen, hey what’s up?”

“What the hell is this, Judy?” Jen gestures vaguely at the restaurant but doesn’t explain further.

“I thought you’d like this restaurant? What are you talking about?”

“For fuck’s sake, the restaurant is fine. I’m not talking about the restaurant.” Jen rolls her eyes and starts to pace around a little. “I’m talking about what’s happening in there. Are you trying to play us off against each other?”

“Jen, I-” She tries to speak and finds she just doesn’t have the words. It’s like Judy can’t quite up with what Jen is trying to tell her just yet. “I thought you liked Michelle? I didn’t mean to upset you. I’m so sorry.”

“No. No! God, stop apologising, you don’t need to be sorry. It’s just that,” Jen takes a second to gather herself, avoiding Judy’s gaze, “For months we’ve been living together, in the house that we own together, sharing a bed. For months, it’s been…” Jen starts to get another cigarette out the packet, before deciding against it. “After the crash, I had a lot of time to think and I was going to talk to you about it tonight. And now fucking Michelle is here and it’s thrown me off. What the fuck am I even doing here, Judy? Am I here crashing a date? I don’t know what I was expecting from tonight, I just thought, maybe. Yeah, I don’t know.”” 

Jen makes a move to go back inside, and all Judy can think is that she can’t leave yet. There’s been too much quietly building between them and finally it feels like maybe something’s happening. Something Judy didn’t even allow herself to hope for, coming out into the open for the first time and she can’t let Jen turn her back on this conversation so soon. She grabs at her hand before Jen’s out of reach and tries to press their palms together. 

“You’re right! I just didn’t think you were ready yet. You’ve been through so much, I thought maybe you needed more time? And I wasn’t sure you thought about me, like that. I’ve wanted that for so long. Of course, I wanted that.”

She feels like a child with words that seem far too small for the feeling behind them. 

With everything that’s riding on this, it should feel scarier. It does a little, she supposes but Jen looks so upset, that it seems like now’s the time for bravery and honesty. Maybe a little risk is overdue. 

She pulls Jen toward her and then she’s right there and she’s so, so close. She clings to Jen’s hand still in hers, that twists to entwine their fingers.  _ Please.  _ She stares up at her, Judy’s gaze flicking between her eyes and her mouth as she silently pleads with Jen to break the deadlock. 

Then it’s slow, but only for a moment. Jen’s hand on Judy’s face, the patient drag of a thumb across Judy’s cheek. The second of stillness as their lips hover close to each other, not touching yet, just sharing warm air and both trying to remember this last moment before whatever this is between them changes. 

And then everything is so fast it makes her head spin. Jen is kissing her with lips that are soft but demanding. Judy’s head swims in the deliciousness of it all, carried away with the alcohol buzz and the thrill of Jen crowding her, pushing her back into the shadowy nook of the garden. Hands in her hair, tongue in her mouth. Judy’s eyes flutter closed and she lets herself wallow in the sensation of it. Jen’s hands exploring her, insistent hips that pin her against the wall and grind into her with months of pent up energy.  _ Fuck. Her Jen _ with hands clawing at Judy’s hips and her tongue pushing into Judy’s mouth.

“Judy, I’ve wanted you. I wanted you for so long.”

They’re a little wine drunk, enough that there’s a haze around them, a softness that sings of privacy. The thrill of being wanted, makes them both woozy; Jen’s hand starts to work its way inside Judy’s dress. 

They definitely shouldn’t do this. They can’t. Michelle is waiting inside for them, they’ve probably been too long already. But when Jen’s fingers play at the elastic of her underwear and she breaks away from the kiss to look for permission, Judy manages two quick nods before her better judgement can complain. She’s wet for Jen already and can feel every tiny slick movement of Jen’s two fingers as they dance around her entrance; fingers slip and sliding over each other as she teases her.  _ Oh fuck oh fuck _ , this is a terrible idea but she can’t even imagine stopping now, and Judy’s hips nudge forward to encourage Jen into action. Judy doesn’t have to wait long until thick fingers sink into her with a delicious stretch, her lips stealing the groan that tries to escape Judy’s mouth at the intrusion. 

Jen pulls away from her, keeping their faces close. She watches for every reaction as her fingers rock into Judy’s pliant body, pulling out and driving back with quick thrusts that steal the air from Judy’s chest. She feels hypnotised by Jen’s mouth. She moves toward her lips, seeking more kisses and finding only air, her face so close to Judy’s but always out of reach. 

“Were you trying to make me jealous? Is this what you wanted? Fuck, Judy. Was this whole thing to try and push me into making a move?”

_ Jesus, oh dear lord.  _

Jen whispers at her inches from her face, in aggressive staccato. Her words punctuated with fingers that curl inside Judy roughly. She moans and Jen’s hand appears across her mouth before pushing her fingers back inside. 

“Shhh, you don’t want anyone to find us here, do you? You don’t want someone to see you like this, do you Judy?”

It feels like Jen has waited for this too; she's been wanting this and keeping it all locked away, only to have it burst out, wild and uncontrolled. 

Jen’s hand pressing at her mouth pushes Judy’s head back against the trellis. Through hooded eyes, Judy watches her and, oh wow, Jen is so hot like this, when she’s agitated and full of energy and that passion that could burn down buildings. And Judy is the focus. And holy  _ fuck,  _ it’s  _ so _ much. It hasn’t been long at all, just a few minutes probably but she’s embarrassingly close already. 

Judy’s hips begin to rut in desperation, Jen’s thumb shifting to rub tight circles around her clit with the relentless pressure of her fingers. The hand that silenced her is suddenly gone and Jen’s mouth is on hers, demanding and desperate. It feels like Jen is claiming her and, God, she wants to be claimed so badly. Jen’s lips bruising like she might never be allowed this again and she has to express it all right now. 

Judy gives herself over to the rippling heat that starts in her core, that is so close to exploding out into everything. Judy’s chasing the final crest of her high when she feels the sudden loss of Jen’s fingers. It takes a moment for her brain to catch up with the change as Jen steps away from her, leaving her body still vibrating with want, but starkly alone. 

Judy’s legs want to collapse. She almost wants to give in to it, spend some time crumbled on the floor because it seems like a relief. 

“You need to figure out what it is you want, Judy.” Jen smirks as she walks back into the restaurant, leaving Judy standing there dazed, a tightly wound mess of arousal and confusion. 

_ Did that really just happen? That really just happened. Oh my god. _

When Judy sits back down at the table, the desserts have arrived. Jen stares at her smugly, swiping a finger through the cream and sliding it into her mouth with a pantomime “Mmmm”. A finger that had, so recently been fucking her out on the patio, close to making her come. She knows what she’s doing and it’s fucking working. 

Neither of them are saying anything, so Michelle tries lamely to fill the awkward silence. Judy feels so sorry for her and it’s accompanied by an overwhelming wave of guilt. It’s obvious now, how she’s been treating her as a consolation prize because she believed Jen didn’t want her. 

But it was always Jen. 

Of course it was always Jen; she’s been so stupid. 

She sees it now, what Michelle has seen this whole time, every time she was upset about the weeks of sleeping next to her in Jen’s bed, every time Judy has prioritised Jen and the boys over Michelle. She’d been so unfair to her. 

She’s going to end it. When this endless uncomfortable dinner is over, she’ll do the deed. They can be honest with each other. Finally. She hasn’t been honest with Michelle, or herself in a very long time. 

Judy doesn’t remember eating dessert. It’s a blur. She just looks back and forth between these two beautiful women who both want her, for reasons Judy can’t possibly begin to understand and her head is a wild jumble of Jen and the boys. 

Judy genuinely means it when she says she wants to stay friends with Michelle. She means it in a way that feels excited about their future friendship and not something to say to soften the blow. Maybe that’s what her ideal future looks like, now she thinks about it; nurturing a loving friendship with Michelle, while committing to Jen and her family. Their family. 

Judy was home now. 

**Author's Note:**

> I'm considering doing a follow up to this maybe. If thats something people would be into?


End file.
